Bad blogger!!!

Ok, so I am terrible at blogging on a daily basis!!! I have not had to work on Saturdays since before Christmas, so no play money in my budget. I used my Saturday $$ to pay my OOP when I went hounding! I haven't been in Walgreens or CVS, I am sure they miss me!!! I run into Kroger and Meijer to grab bare necessities and anything free after coupons. Plus it's just been so danged cold....I just want to go home, throw on some sweats and curl up under a blanket. I hate being cold, and between our old, cold, drafty house (I have 2 comforters on my bed AND an electric matress pad!!!!!!!!) and a cold drafty shop at work with concrete floors, I am only warm in my car (I have been known to just drive around untill I am warm before actually going home) I am tired of my feet feeling like ice cubes all the time! I always get into a funk in February and yearn for Spring. I worked the graveyard shift at a Marriott hotel from the time I was 18 until I was 30. I did not see the sun at all during Jan and Feb during that time frame. I felt like a vampire and could not step outside in the sunlight without wearing sunglasses. It took a full 2 years of working daytime hours to be able to go ot without sunglasses.

I am struggling with my weight loss at the moment. I have cabin fever and seem to have eaten anything not nailed down. I was soooooooo not looking forward to going to weigh in this week. Last weeks mtg was cancelled because of snow and the week before I had a huge fight with my Mother. I felt like I had an emotional hangover for days. My mom has a way of making me feel about 2 inches tall, lays on the guilt trips quite heavily, and I let her..........rather than lash out and possibly hurting her feelings. I hate to blame my weight problems on my Mom, but that creepy Dr Robin on Oprah asked someone once "who told you you were not good enough?" Hmmmmm.....I always heard "But you have such a pretty face..." Can you hear the tsk, tsk?????? I remember being bribed to lose weight...."If you go on a diet and eat this grapefruit....I will buy you a canopy bed" I was 8 or 9.....I never got a canopy bed, or a new wardrobe (another bribe) and generally wore my mom's hand me downs. When I started working at the Marriott, I developed a PJ's and socks fetish. I didn't have to wear granny jammies anymore! To this day, I LOVE PJ's. I hate nightgowns, but love cute PJ's and have 2 or 3 full drawers of them. Nothing makes me happier than to get PJ's as a gift. And socks....I love cute socks! I can't wear cute shoes, but by golly, I can have cute socks!!!

I think I just figured out my reward for losing 50lbs......I am so close to that goal, I can almost taste it! Oh, I did lose this week! about a half a pound, but I was TOTALLY expecting to gain 3-5lbs! I am thankful for the loss, however small it might be. I have hit a plateau lately, so I have the maintaing phase down pat....but, I HAVE NOT gained. I'll take it!!!!